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Piggy
Piggy (31996-???) is a central character of Pigverse, and the namesake of this particular Multiverse. Piggy is not an actual pig, but rather a mutant born out of a tin can. Origins Piggy was born in the year 31996 of Earth time. His birth happened on the moment that Earth passed the exact midpoint of the universe. The midpoint hit an empty tin can of lard on a beach in Los Angeles, thus causing it to mutate into a strange, pig-like creature. The creature was sentinent, and in many ways as intelligent as a human. Physiology Piggy is a mutant born from a non-sentinent object, and therefore has some very strange anatomy. It does not posess any gender, but prefers to be adressed as a male. It lacks all forms of DNA, its cells have neither nuclei nor mitochondria. The fact that its cells can function at all is an anomaly. 99% of its body is composed of some form of fat. Only it's brains are of relatively normal composition. Its bones are a form of highly compressed fat that works in any way the same as a regular skeleton. All other tissue is just a differently textured variation of fat. Piggy is thus incredibly obese, and prone to heart attacks. However, Piggy's personal doctor has determined that were he to stop eating fatty substances, his lungs would halt. Piggy weighs about 1000 pounds. Piggy has a very unusual anatomy, to the point of being considered some sort of a Deity. It has an organ near its liver that turns all excrement into pure energy - an organ very common for deities and demigods. The pure energy powers another strange organ in its brain, called The Härdelli. The Härdelli produces Coincidetoxin, a substance that affects probability. Due to being a mutant, Piggy does not age, and will not die of natural causes. Theological aspects Due to the unique organ in his brain, the Härdelli, Piggy is the god of coincidence. As of 32011, he has yet to discover this. Piggy is considered one of the tribunes of Posu, the god of chaos. Unlike the other tribunes, Posu was unable to control the events of Piggy's life beforehand, and therefore also unable to prevent him from dying. The coincidetoxin produced by Piggy's brain is powerful enough to override Posu's influence, therefore often times creating universes where Piggy dies. As a tribune of Posu, Piggy had a single purpose of destroying Earth, and causing entropy to befall on the entire universe. In most instances that Piggy actually found out about the meaning of its existance, he instead opted to reject destroying the world, and hired the rest of the tribunes as his film crew. Personal life Piggy lives in a modest two-story house in the suburban Los Angeles. The house is technically owned by him, but all of the building materials were bought on installments, and as of 32011, he had yet to pay for all of them. His close friend and cinematographer Swine is his roommate, but due to rent-seeking practices, does not pay any rent, instead choosing to do free work for Piggy. In most incarnations, Piggy currently works as a highly-rated movie and TV-series writer and director. His work is mainly very existential, nihilist and self-referentialist. He is the producer of the highly-controversial Piggy 2B0F36 Show. Piggy's close friends include Swine, Captain Fat-Piggy, Alfred I. Piggy, Piggy 2B0F36, Indiana Stark and Theodor Rigby. Piggy has a stalker named John Timberman, who often times tries to kill Piggy and use him as a christmas ham. Piggy travels as a hobby, both in time and space. Notable incarnations: * One of the most divisive moments in Piggy's life happened in 32011, as one of his incarnations died and went to Helt, but escaped due to the influence of Posu, along with the other three Tribunes of Posu. The subsequent incarnations led to, among other things, the four of them forming a death metal band, a subdimensional nation, a terrorist group and a film crew. * In 32014, Piggy got a chance to be featured in a music video directed by one of his colleagues. In one esoteric incarnation, he chose to play the zeusaphone, and after testing it it an open field during a thunderstorm, found that he was capable of shooting lightning bolts from his arms. Piggy then placed the zeusaphone on his head and went on a rampage. * In one incarnation in 32011 The Alphabet Bird severely broke the fourth wall and told Piggy that he's a fictional character and nothing in life matters. He then allowed Piggy to do whatever he wanted right before the ending. Piggy subsequently made himself omnipotent and became The Alphabet Piggy. He used this power to stop the story from ending, and created a new universe for himself. * In one notorious incarnation in 32011, Piggy was accidentally hanged upside-down in an air vent. * In another particularly unfortunate incarnation in 32011, Piggy, along with three of his alternate incarnations died simultaneously from an axe thrown by John Timberman. Quotes: * "I declare a remote control war!" * "WHY MUST I BE SO STUPID!?" * "This place i-s'abo't-a-get sabotaged!" - An incredibly botched pun- * "Hah. You call yourself an eldritch abomination? Even I'm more angry than that if someone wakes me from my eternal slumber in my domain." * "Let's see, the sun always rises from the east and sets in the east, then goes up again and down to south, and then under and over with the needle in the other hand... no wait, that's how you knit a scarf." Things said about Piggy: * "Jesus obesus" - A cultist attempting ritualistic murder on Piggy.- * "You know what, Piggy? I sometimes get this deep, dark fear that I'm much stupider than I think I am. However, I am eased by the fact that there cannot be a creature stupider than you!" -Piggy 2B0F36- Trivia * Piggy's favorite food is Whale-o's, a type of salty snack made from whale fat. * Though not a real pig, Piggy refuses to eat pork as he considers it cannibalism, and has on occasion avoided even gingerbread figures shaped like pigs. * Piggy boasts having visited all 733 states of USA as of 32011 * Before he had made a name for himself in the movie industry, he wrote all of his scripts under the pen name "James Jameson". * During many incarnations, Piggy has eaten enough food to revert India back into a third world country. Category:Characters Category:Deities Category:Mutants